Wednesday, February 24, 2016


We live in Mexico, a country where the people are poor and the marriage process expensive.  I have always felt that marriage is in the heart not so much in a piece of paper.  Moving to Mexico did not change my opinion on that at all.  If anything it proved my point.  There are people here who I personally know that have been “married” for 10, 20, 30+ years and no one would ever consider them not married.  They have children together, call each other husband or wife and would never consider leaving their spouse just because they don’t’ have a piece of paper.   

As an interesting side note I understand the government once a year does a program where they do a mass marriage ceremony.  It costs like $1 or something.  However you have to get to the county seat which in some cases is fairly expensive if you have say 2 or 3 kids plus family.  When you live penny to penny just to feed your family much less put a roof over your head $20 is a pretty big sum of money.  As far as I can tell the only thing that is a plus here is for the women there seems to be some sort of medical benefit if you have legal documentation of marriage.   Maybe health insurance comes though the husband or maybe it has something to do with work.  I am ignorant on the reality of that bit.

I mean we could talk until we are blue in the face about how one income married families in the US have a harder time with things like taxes and stuff.  So, governmental reasons aside what are the reasons for the paperwork behind getting married? I honestly think that it must have something to do with tradition.  Somewhere along the way there sprung up this idea that marriages need to be documented by the state and everyone now thinks that is just the thing to do.  Now my friends it is time to think twice about that.

I guess my point is that marriage and paperwork or marriage and sex or marriage and companionship or marriage and children are not what specifically marriage is about.  I think in the US we need to take a second look at our reasoning for a marriage certificate.  We need to figure out why we feel we need it.  Can we not have a ceremony and come together and pledge before God to live our lives together and call it good?  My husband and I got married legally I think in part because we didn’t know any better and the idea of marriage was different.  We did it because it was what was expected and that is what the culture as Christians say we should do. I feel like we are at a place now where, had we been more knowledgeable about what is going on in the world we might give that a second thought. 

In an era when the word “marriage” is being tossed around so causally and the idea of, what is marriage, is so convoluted,  I truly feel that we as Christian’s need to come up with a stand as to what we are going to do.  I know that this little blog is not going to change how the Christian’s of the world view marriage but maybe it will make you think.  What makes a marriage?  I have an answer in my head and it is about Christ and it being a representation of Christ and the church and it has nothing to do with a certificate or my lovely dress that I wore on my wedding day.  I challenge you to think on this subject and consider.  What do I consider a marriage, and why? In what way can I make myself stand out from the crowd that has hijacked the word marriage?